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*** QUESTION FROM READER ***
Andrea, When I am at a friend's house, I normally
pig out because her cupboards are FILLED with a
bunch of foods that are not healthy and are
LOADES with calories. How do I say NO to
popcorn and fruit roll-ups and chocolate and all
of the things she has to offer my stomach?
- Sarah
Dear Sarah,
I am so glad that you wrote in with this
question because it is a VERY important one.
When you are at a friend's house, your temptation
to eat junk food is going to be much higher because
pigging out with your friends is also a social
activity.
You give yourself an excuse of, "Well if she doesn't
care, why should I care?"...
This is one of the ways friends can encourage one
another in negative ways, and this is WHY people
like to pig out with other people.
But it's very important to stop this behavior because
you are serious about losing weight and getting
healthy for a lifetime, and this is one of the most
important behaviors that you need to change - how
you interact with your friends.
This is such an important topic that I've written
an entire book on it, and I'll tell you about that
later on.
>>>> FRIENDS INFLUENCE EACH OTHER <<<<
Why are we so heavily influenced by our friend's
choices?
Well, I have spent years studying groups of
healthy, fit women so that I could learn from them
and model their behavior in my own life.
I noticed early on that there are "groups" of
healthy people that all hang out together.
Meaning, that while MOST Americans are getting
fatter and UN-healthier, there are groups of
women that are defying these odds and actually
getting HEALTHIER.
And after studying them, I realized that the
biggest ADVANTAGE they had... was EACH OTHER.
Let me explain...
Humans are social creatures. We LIKE being
together.
Having friends to hang out with, laugh with and
have FUN with is VERY important for living a
happy and fulfilling life.
So you're a social creature and you're going to
have people around you, but be aware of how these
people influence you.
Having a POSITIVE support group around you increases
your chances of living a healthy life.
There's a book called "Vital Friends", and the author
did a lot of research on this, and discovered that if
your best friend has a healthy diet, then you are
five times more likely to have a healthy diet yourself.
THAT'S FIVE TIMES... OR 500% MORE LIKELY...
That's a really big difference!
The opposite is also true.
If your best friend has an UN-healthy diet, you
are five times more likely to have an UN-healthy diet.
So as you can see, this is what's happening in this
situation. Your friend has an unhealthy diet.
Your friend does not eat healthy, and so therefore
when you're around her, the odds of you eating
healthy are 500% more likely that you are not going
to eat healthy either.
So, you have to really be prepared for this situation
and I've got some great tips for you in order to handle
this.
>>>> YOU ARE SERIOUS ABOUT YOUR HEALTH <<<<
The first thing you should do is tell her how
important this is to you in your life, that this
is your HEALTH.
This is not just some hobby that you are involved in
for a moment and then you are going to forget about.
You are really changing here and you know how
important getting healthy is TODAY, because the
longer you wait, the harder it becomes.
Tell her that you have the tools NOW.
You've been reading newsletters, hopefully you've
downloaded and read my book, you've been learning
about weight loss and getting healthy... AND YOU'RE
SERIOUS ABOUT THIS.
Then you need to ask her to not eat junk food
around you.
Think of it like you're quitting smoking.
If you have a really serious pack-a-day smoking
habit, and you finally get to the place in your life
where you're ready to let that go, you would not hang
around other smokers.
And you would ask your friends NOT to smoke around
you.
You're quitting smoking, and EVERYBODY would respect
that and say, "Of course I won't smoke around you."
No one would even think twice about that request.
Well... think of this as the same thing.
You are quitting junk food.
You are quitting UN-healthy processed food.
You're quitting chemicals that are sabotaging your
health and making you fat.
So you are completely in your right to ask someone
to NOT eat this crap around you, and not only
is it your right but it is your OBLIGATION.
This is a NECESSITY for you staying healthy because
every time someone eats any unhealthy food around you,
you are 500% more likely to break your diet, to cheat,
to eat these foods that you are working on eliminating
from your life.
You are breaking an addiction to processed food,
and it is an addiction.
I've quit smoking before, and I've quit eating
processed foods.
It is the same thing.
Quitting an addiction one way is the same as
quitting another -- it doesn't matter WHAT addiction
it is, the process is the same.
You need to tell your friend and EVERYONE in your
life, "Don't eat processed foods around me.
I'm quitting."
>>>> BE PREPARED ALWAYS <<<<
When you go over to your friends, always bring your
own food with you.
You can't rely on other people to feed you.
And if you go two hours in the day without eating,
your blood sugar drops down way too low, and this is
why you crave these high calorie foods, because your
body knows that, "Oh, if I eat this high calorie food,
I'll get a rush of calories hitting my system all at
once."
Well, this is what causes you to store fat, and
this is the cycle that we are breaking.
We are working on breaking this addiction to
processed food.
So bring your food with you wherever you go.
Bring a piece of fruit and a bag of un-salted,
chemical-free nuts. Just plain, natural nuts.
Eat those every two hours, until you get back to your
home or until you get to a place where you can have
healthy food.
Be prepared always.
EVERY time you leave your home, make sure you have
food with you.
Now, I know how important friends are in having a
happy life, and I would never advise you or try to
encourage you to disconnect from your friends.
Of course you want to spend time with them and be
around them, and you are going to just need to find
alternative ways to enjoy each other's company
that's not centered around pigging out.
I think this is such an important topic because I
know how important fun is and how much I love being
around my girlfriends.
So of course you want to find a way to INSPIRE them
to join you so that you can still continue to hang out
with them and have fun and ENJOY your girlfriends'
company... this way you guys get to be HEALTHY TOGETHER.
Now I get that this might be a difficult conversation
to have, and maybe you don't know where to start or
how to bring it up.
That's why I've done all the work for you...
This is such an important topic that I've written
an entire book on it.
When you inspire your friend to get healthy, you get
to have a partner in all that you are exploring and
discovering and experiencing in this journey into
HEALTH... and it is exciting, isn't it?
What happens is, when you bring in your girlfriend
and the more friends you have participating in this
HEALTHY life you have, the more FUN and supportive it
all is, and the greater the chances of you SUCCEEDING.
I went searching for a training partner, and I wanted
to find someone who I would enjoy hanging out with
while I was training.
I found this girl Margot, and what's amazing is that
once she started training with me, there were days
when she was even more dedicated to the training
than I was.
She would inspire me to show up!
So, it wasn't just about me having fun while I was
working out, but Margot actually, because she was so
dedicated, kept me INSPIRED TO CONTINUE to show up.
Great things happen when you get your friends involved.
You get to share this journey with people who you
love spending time with. Then they help you stay
focused and help you stay committed because it is
so much FUN doing it TOGETHER.
But then there is even ANOTHER bonus on top of that...
... That you are spreading the JOY OF HEALTH and you
are saving years of her life.
For all you know, you may save her life completely,
preventing her from getting heart disease or diabetes,
or even just suffering from depression on a daily basis.
I mean, we girls got to stick together!
Getting your girlfriends to do this with you, it
just becomes a great big FUN FEST.
I say that seriously because you're going to want
to hang out with your girlfriend.
That's why you go over to her house and pig out...
because it's fun.
You enjoy her company.
Get her inspired to live this HEALTHY life, and before
you know it, she'll be cleaning out her cubbard and only
stocking her shelves and pantries with fresh, HEALTHY
food.
Then you will have changed HER LIFE AND YOURS, forever.
Thanks for the great question.
With Light and Love,
Your Friend,
Andrea
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