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*** Question From Reader ***
Dear Andrea,
I am "overweight" and I probably have a long
way to go but I just wanted to thank you for your
wonderful newsletters. You have inspired me to
really want to loose weight.
But I have a question, whilst I am loosing
weight, I still feel really awful about how much I
weigh and its now in the back of my mind all the
time and whenever I go out with my friends who are
all usually slender (apart from a few) I always
think to myself, they must think I'm fat and they
probably know how much I weigh.
I cant help but feel really insecure despite
the fact that I am on the right path to being slim,
I am not yet slim.
I sometimes feel like cancelling all my plans
because I dont want people to see me like this,
even though I am eating the right foods I still
feel pretty self concious because permanent weight
loss takes time.
So I was wondering, whilst you were loosing
weight, did you ever feel like I do and if so what
did you do about it? Did you just hide until you
had finally lost the weight?
Because I am tempted to hide myself. If you
could answer my question I would be so grateful. I
am so glad there are people around like you, I
think what you are doing is great.
Best Wishes
Penelope
*** My Response ***
Dear Penelope,
I understand how you could feel this way.
I know what it's like to constantly obsess about
your weight and to think that everyone else is
thinking about it too.
I have to tell it to you straight and upfront --
This Is All In Your Head.
Your mind can be one of the biggest obstacles
you will have to overcome in order to lose weight
and keep it off for good...
And later in this newsletter I'm going to tell
you exactly how you can stop this negative "mind
chatter" that is keeping you confused and filling
your head with false perceptions.
First, I want to answer your question, No I
did not "hide" while I was losing weight.
Let me tell you why...
>>> Hiding Makes You Gain Weight <<<<
When you hide from your friends, your family
and even the rest of the world you are going to
have a very hard time losing weight, and in fact
you will probably get fatter.
Thing about it. Do you do things in private
that you would never do in front of other people?
I know I did.
For instance, I had no problem with eating
pizza for breakfast, lunch AND dinner when I was
all by myself... but I would NEVER do that in
front of someone else.
And I certainly would never let anyone see how
many bowls of sugar-loaded cereal I could REALLY eat,
(if you guessed six, then you got it right).
Think about all your "secret" pig out habits
that you do while you're in hiding... the more
time you spend in hiding, the more opportunities
you will have to pig out.
And going into hiding does not do anything
good for your self esteem.
It reinforces your negative thinking (which is
wrong) that you are not "good enough" to go out
and be seen. And that other people are thinking
that you are fat.
The more time you spend alone with your
negative thinking, the more you will start to
believe it to be true.
And these negative beliefs will cause negative
feelings.
See how this works?
Thinking --> Beliefs --> Feelings
Then these negative feelings cause you to turn to
food for comfort and pleasure.
Food becomes your only escape from this pain.
But there is a way to stop this negative,
downward spiral...
>>> Having Fun Makes You LOSE Weight <<<<
When you are out and about, hanging out with
your friends you are more active than when you
are just sitting at home watching tv and pigging
out alone.
And when you're laughing and having fun, you
are stimulating the pleasure centers in your brain.
This makes you feel better about your day-to-day
life... and you will be less likely to turn to
food to lift yourself up.
Emotional eating to feel good will be easier
to overcome or avoid completely.
Because that's why we turn to sugar and fat.
Not because it's good for us, but because it
makes us FEEL good.
If you are getting these good FEELINGS from
other sources, the food will not have as much
power over you.
The more fun you have, and the more things you
do, the more CONFIDENCE you will build inside
yourself.
And this starts a whole positive chain of
reactions...
- More CONFIDENCE in yourself makes you feel
better about who you are as a person
- This makes you LIKE yourself more
- The more you like yourself, the more positive
things you will want to do for yourself
Think about it. You WANT to do things for
people you like, right?
Well, it's the same with your self-esteem.
The more you like yourself, the more you will
WANT to give yourself the gift of health and make
positive choices to support your health.
Pigging out on french fries and pizza will
soon become unattractive to you because that
won't fit into your "self-image" of a person
that loves themselves and WANTS to do good
things for yourself.
If you're shaking your head right now and
thinking, "I could NEVER stop eating pizza and
french fries!"... then you could be dealing with
a food addiction.
And the more good things you DO for yourself,
the better you will FEEL about yourself and the
person you are becoming... and that will only
make you want to do MORE good things for yourself.
It's an upward spiral towards HEALTH and
happiness.
And just when you think things can't get any
better... it does.
>>> Your Outside Changes To Match The Inside Changes <<<<
The more of this healthy self-identity you have,
the less and less you will care about the extra
weight on your body.
You will just be so focused on giving yourself
health everyday, making healthy choices and giving
yourself the BEST of life...
And this new way of thinking will create new
beliefs and give you new feelings of happiness
and joy.
Remember the formula?
Thinking --> Beliefs --> Feelings
You will get so "hooked" on these new positive
feelings that you will never want to return to
your old self-destructive ways.
This new way of living will make big changes
in your body too.
One day, you will look down and realize that
the weight is gone.
And you will know for sure that it will never
come back, because all those old habits that made
you fat in the first place are gone from your life
forever.
That's how it happened for me.
As soon as I stopped punishing myself for
being fat, as soon as I started seeing myself
as a special person that DESERVES health...
The foods and the choices that didn't line
up with that were no longer a part of my plan.
And I don't think I would have gotten there
if I stopped enjoying life and having fun.
So don't crawl under a rock and "hide" yourself
from the world. That will only make your
problems worse and your mind will only fall into
deeper darkness.
Like I said, this really all is in your head.
I know that may sound hard to believe from
your perspective right now...
(because it's all being filtered through the
same mind that is causing your distorted
reality)...
But I can help you get your mind "straight".
See, your mind is a garden.
And just like a garden that grows flowers
and plants needs to be "pruned" and "de-weeded",
so does your mind.
Your mind is a garden of thoughts.
You should tend to your garden, pulling out
the negative thoughts and planting new seeds
that will flourish and bloom into healthy,
positive thinking.
It is necessary to go in and clean out your
mind garden from time to time, or else it will
become overrun with weeds.
These weeds are those negative thoughts that
are telling you "Everyone thinks I'm fat" and
"I should just hide myself because I'm so
disgusting to look at".
Your inner dialogue - the thinking inside
your mind CAN be changed.
I know because I've done it and I've helped
lots of other women do it too.
We ALL have that negative self-talk, but you
can learn how to recognize it for what it is and
CHOOSE not to listen to it.
Eventually, the negative voice gets tired of
not being heard, and it just gives up and stays
SILENT.
This is what happened to my "negative inner
thoughts". I used to listen to them and fuel them
with my mental energy, dwelling on it over and over,
and obsessing over them constantly...
But now that I have learned how to recognize
it for what it is - false truths and negative
thinking...
Now, when I hear that negative voice pop up
in my head, I think, "Oh, there's that negative
voice again. I'm not going to listen to it
because I know it only tells me lies."
I can teach you how to get to this place
where you recognize and choose NOT to dwell in
this negative place inside your mind.
I talk a lot about this "inner dialogue" in
my eBook.
And I show you how to reprogram your inner
dialogue to be your greatest SUPPORTER, building
you up and telling you how great you are doing
all the time.
Wouldn't it be wonderful to stop all those
negative self-sabatoging beliefs?
And turn them into self-lifing beliefs?
I went through this process and I'll take you
through it step-by-step in my eBook. I'll show
you how to overcome all the destructive mind
games that are preventing you from living the life
you deserve in the body you want.
I know that I can help you eliminate your
negative self talk so you can start losing weight
and keep yourself on track so you'll continue to
get healthier and healthier in your body AND in
your mind.
The more fun you have, the less you will turn
to destructive habits... that's what I've seen
time and time again helping lots of women
lose weight in a healthy and lasting way.
Women that I know who've lost weight for good
and kept it off weren't sitting at home "hiding"
and "waiting" for their lives to start...
They were out enjoying this beautiful miracle
that we have all been blessed with - LIFE.
It is your choice what you make of your life.
How will you spend your time?
What choices will you make?
I hope you choose health, and light, and love
for ALL beings...
And that "ALL beings" includes yourself.
I believe you deserve the best that this
life has to offer.
Thanks for the great question. Be sure to
write back with your success story because I
know that you'll have one.
Your Friend,
Love and Light,
Andrea
P.S. You can find more articles like this one by
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